And The Winner Is… Is… ????

…Lorraine!

Official Random.org Results

Lorraine has won a signed copy of her favorite Obey Crochet drawing “This Yarn Ain’t Big Enough For The Two Of Us!“  Come on down Lorraine and claim your prize.  Everybody please give her a round of applause and let her know just how jealous you are!  Lorraine, tell us – how does it feel to be such a winner?  And please look for an email asking for your mailing address so Stephanie can ship your signed Obey Crochet drawing to you!  We look forward to hearing from you very soon!
(And you’ll have to send us a photo!)  :D

Didn’t win? No worries!  Now that you’re following Obey Crochet’s blog, not only will you be in the know about anything that comes up Obey Crochet, you can also shop her store at CafePress!  You will find mugs, t-shirts and totes of Hooky goodness!  Yay for crochet!

Thank you all for participating and it was so awesome to meet and connect with more crochet friends! I am now following everyone who participated in this contest and left your websites or Twitter accounts to follow.  And I think maybe ya’ll will want to get to know each other too.  I hope you enjoyed the fun and exploration of the crochet goodness from our sister-in-hook Stephanie Toppin!

Happy New Year from both of us!  I truly believe that 2012 is just simply going to be outstanding!  In addition to my usual content, stay tuned for future contests, reviews, goodies and new friends to meet!  Thanks to Stephanie and Obey Crochet for joining me in this shindig.  And thanks again to everyone for keeping your hook in gear and sharing the crochet love!  Rock on! 

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Quick Note On The Giveaway, IDs and Custom Commentary

So hey guys, I updated the giveaway listing, but just wanted to add (since everyone’s subscribed and should hence see this) that you should also include your Twitter ID’s and blog addresses if you have them, so we can find you and follow back too!  Now, I can only promise that I will follow if you do this, but I’m requesting also because it would be nice for other crocheters to find you when they come to this post too.  I didn’t think to include that at the first publishing, but hey – I’m telling you now.  It’s not a requirement to win the Obey Crochet Giveaway, but certainly, if you’d like me to follow back and I don’t already, I’d love to!  And I don’t think I’m the only crocheter who would.

Besides, I have this whole project on Klout for Tweeps and Peeps in the crochet world.  As in, I’m looking up people who interact with me and am making sure they are down for crochet and Stumbling blogs (that would be Stumble Upon).  I guess I should write a post about that and explain a bit more about what I’m up to, and what this whole Klout thing is about anyway, but the brief of it is I’m using my Klout to better represent crochet.  I mean seriously, when top crochet designers are down as experts in hotels, instead of the fiber fests they went to and there’s nothing about crochet on their Klout profile, yeah, it needs some help.  Do I think it’s a big deal?  Hmmm, well, yes and no.  Do I think there’s potential for the artistic/handmade world?  Yes, I do.

But more on that later.  In the mean time – post your blogs and twitter ids in your comments, gain some friends!

Next, I have some custom work I’m doing for Lori, a local gal with Lakeway Women In Network – a networking group for women in business.  Lori wanted a red/black hat like the last one I made, but a little shorter and tapered for her face.  She also wanted a gold accent for the flower motif and so now we’re at the point of deciding which variation is best.  So I’m putting together a collection of photos to make the job easier since we live about an hour from each other.  If you’ve never done custom work before, this can give you an idea of what it’s like, at least for me.  I like to give people choices and get them involved with the process as much as feasible.  Anything Lori doesn’t choose will go into my stash of stuff to use with another project.  When I do shows, it’s always nice to have a selection of flowers and motifs ready to go so I can customize a hat for someone on the spot.  So every effort to customize serves future customizations as well.  A well stocked pantry keeps you fed.  So does a well stocked stash of supplies and finished parts.

These flowers are made of the heavier weight yarn like the original.

Two of the four buttons you see pictured are vintage buttons from my Grandmother’s stash.  The other two are new buttons.  Can you tell which are which?  Also there’s a selection of 4 petal flowers and 5 petal flowers.  Two of the flowers are in a heavier weight yarn than the rest.

These flowers are made of a lighter weight yarn, from a totally different company. Pretty close color match, isn't it?

The bottom right flower is made very similarly to the original flower on the original hat in the same yarn. The question now is which flower with which button for this new custom hat??

Which is your favorite?

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An Aberrant “Obey Crochet” Holiday Give Away!

Oh look!  I was a poet and didn’t know it!

Well, welcome back my crochet friends!  Happy Holidays!

I know, I know….  I was writing so consistently and then dropped off.  It’s the season for working though, you know.  This is the time of year when warm things are in demand!  I’ll let you know when I master typing with my ears while I crochet.  Send me any tips if you have them!  LOL!  Oh and then of course one by one the family units got sick.  And fight as I did, I finally caught it too.  I know you know how it is!

But, now I’m getting back on my feet just in time for the holidays.  It’s also dear hubby’s and my anniversary today!  (16 years!  Do you know how much I love him?)

It's me and Obey Crochet! Cooking up some fun for you!

So I’m ready to celebrate, drink some wine, enjoy some chocolate, have some fun and spring a holiday celebration giveaway surprise that Stephanie a.k.a. Obey Crochet and I cooked up!  We’re doing a blog giveaway! YAY!

Yes!  ‘Tis true!  And trust me, you’ll covet this one!  If you haven’t met Obey Crochet just yet, please do so by visiting my interview with her here!

“Yay! What awesomeness will we win?” you ask?  Well I’ll tell you!

It’s our pleasure to bring this crochet unique giveaway to you, my fellow crochet lover!  One lucky winner will receive a FREE, signed… (did you see that? … a signed!) …  Obey Crochet print.  Of your choice!  Of ANY one Obey Crochet Drawing that you love!  Shipped to you!

Can you believe it?! 

OMG I’m jealous, because I’m disqualified from this giveaway.  They will also get random Obey Crochet buttons and rub on tats.  How cool is that!  Don’t you just love it!  :D

“How!  How can we win?” you ask?

Alright, so down to the business stuff… please read carefully!
First of all, this giveaway is uniquely open to USA as well as International crochet fans!  Yes!  We are not excluding our friends from overseas!

There is only ONE mandatory way to enter…
First, you must subscribe to both Aberrant Crochet and Obey Crochet blogs.  Next, go to Obey Crochet’s website, look at her vast collection of drawings and decide which one is your favorite.  Then, come back here and leave a comment on this giveaway blog post stating that you are following both blogs (we’ll check), along with a note about which Obey Crochet signed drawing you are most excited to win!  (One of my personal favorites is “Potentially Pirate,” along with Obey Crochet’s original “Co-Dependent.”  Oh and then of course there’s “Only Child,” “My Shadow Puppets Are Better,” and “All I Need Is One Hook.” And then there’s…..  I know – how can you possibly choose just one?! But in the end, if you win, you will have to!)
Last but not least, share the link to this giveaway with your crochet savvy friends!
Limit ONE entry per person.
OH and HEY! Post your Twitter ID and blog address in your comment and I’ll follow you back!  How’s that for a deal?

PLEASE NOTE…
1. You have just over ONE WEEK to enter…
2. Giveaway will close Sunday, January 1, 2012 at 9am CST.  (Yes, we gave you fudge room even after the New Year’s celebration!)
3. A winner will be chosen via random.org later in the day on January 1, 2012.
4. I will announce the winner on my blog shortly after (so come back to check!)
5. Please be sure to have your email address linked to your comment or there is no way for me to contact you!
And that’s it!

GOOD LUCK EVERYONE!   :D    MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAVE FUN!
Oh, and disclaimer: I have not received any monetary compensation for putting on this giveaway.  This is purely for fun!  I mean, just in case you’re wondering.  They say it’s always good to be clear about these things.  So, there you have it… clear?  We love you!  Enjoy!

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Filed under Artist Information & Notes, crochet, Crochet Community, Giveaway

Six Business Points That Getting Stuck In The Snow Taught Me

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Pretty evening view out the hotel window. The streets are iced.

Yesterday I attempted to get out on the snow-covered streets of Prescott, AZ to meet fellow yarnies at a coffee shop. Well, it didn’t go so well for me. And I learned a few things that can be applied to business as well as life.

1.  Experts don’t always know what’s right for you You are the only one who truly knows your background and circumstances.  And it’s your job to know your reasonable limits.  Locals I talked to were saying, “Oh, this snow is nothing. You can drive in it. No big deal!” However, the weather turned out to be not quite what even locals expected.  In analysis, I think my problem was complicated by drought weathered tires and the fact that I have seen snow less times in my life than I have fingers. Meaning I have not really driven in real snow either.  (We generally get ice if we get anything in Austin and everything shuts down – hence I don’t get out in it.)  My tires seem to have good tread, but we had 6 weeks of over 100 degree weather this year in Austin and it probably doesn’t make it easy on the tires when it comes to maneuvering in snow, nor do I have 4-wheel drive.

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After scraping some of the snow off. It was at least 3 inches.

Though several people seemed OK out there driving, there were people like me having trouble.  On my way back there was even a van that had once been behind me, flipped on its side from trying to make it up a hill.  A local driver with more experience and better equipment might truly have been fine driving out there, but I should have thought better and not gone out in the weather.

2. Things are not always as they seem, but with a little pause and think, you can likely figure it out.  Folks crammed into the downtown area of Prescott for the parade and other Christmas activities this weekend. Lots of families. After all, Prescott is Arizona’s “Christmas City.”  It took quite awhile to get out of the hotel parking lot because of all the parade goers.  Or so I thought until I saw the main road.  Perhaps the amount of traffic in the hotel/shopping center parking lot should have been a clue that traffic on the main road wasn’t normal.  If I had stopped to figure out that piece of information, my decision process would have been much different.

3. There is no shame in letting others know when you need help.  Getting unstuck requires space to work.  People can’t help you or give you the space you need on your own without knowing something is up in the first place.  I had worked my way out on the roads and got maybe a mile down the way before I realized that I didn’t have a lot of visibility and that I was having some trouble with the slick roads after all.  With a white truck, I knew that other drivers might not realize that I could not drive as well as they could in the snow, that my vehicle would not be as visible and it definitely did not have a very good turning radius.  As a result, it was possible that others might not give me the room needed should my truck fishtail or should my u-turn not work out as well as I hoped.  I threw on my hazards and looked for a safe place with enough space to safely turn around.  I couldn’t find any at first.  Finally I pulled into the snow-filled middle turn lane for a left turn into a parking lot that looked big enough to turn around in.  Which is where I got stuck.

4.  You are not committed to an action if the follow-through turns out not to be in your best interest, or not in the best interest of others.  Do not force what will not likely work, especially when the environment of the game has changed.
In the end, you must preserve yourself and others.  I had pulled into the center snow filled lane thinking it would have more traction and that I could just make a u-turn and head right back the way I came.  This seems logical under normal driving conditions, but here I got stuck.  I attempted a few times to continue to make that u-turn, but physics proved that it was not going to work for me as long as traffic continued the way it was.  I was too stuck and my truck was starting to drift in a circle.  I might have been fine should I have been the only person on the road.  As it was, though it seemed logical, my initial idea was too risky and would put both my life and the lives of others in danger.  My goal to get home safely had not changed, but I needed a new course of action.

5.  Baby steps are the backbone of any successful outcome.  Keep the end goal in mind, but focus on the NOW.  Getting unstuck from any situation requires focus and patience.  Drop your main attention from the desired results to the immediate steps necessary.  My end goal was to get back safely to my hotel. I even had a comforting picture in my head of sitting in front of the fire with hot tea and relaxing.  Oh how I wanted to be there right then!  However, my main focus needed to be on the first problem, getting unstuck from the ice and out of the center lane with traffic coming at me from both directions.  If any cars around me started to skid, I was a sitting duck.

First baby step, get out of that spot.  The road finally cleared in both directions enough so that I could slip and slide my way back into the lane I came from without mishap.  I was finally moving, and that baby step was solved.  However, it put me still going (slowly) in the wrong direction.  Next baby step, change lanes and find a well-traveled road I could turn onto so I can hopefully work my way around a loop to come back.  Baby Goal: avoid stopping since I seem to get stuck when I do.  Other baby steps towards getting home safely were also required.  Stay away from pedestrians (I marveled at the amount of people walking around cars that are slip-sliding in the ice) and be still if they come near you.  Keep a slow steady pace.  Start braking half a block away from stop lights and flash your brakes so those around you can see you and compensate in case you skid.  Keep the hazards on.  Focus on the right now, so you can get to the future.  Be patient.  Work cooperatively with traffic, knowing everyone else is also having to focus on their baby steps.  Roll down your window, be friendly and let others know that your next move depends on them moving first.  They might not realize the situation, so it’s not a bad thing to let them know.  And do not try to turn into a parking space surrounded by pedestrians and cars when your truck obviously won’t take the turns under these circumstances.  While you’re at it, pray for everyone.

Eventually, all these things inevitably led to me to the driveway at my hotel, which at an incline had me stuck again for a bit, and then on into a parking space way in the back of the lot.  I may have had to walk a ways, but I didn’t mind, because it allowed me to park safely.  I’ve been in a horrible car wreck that I was lucky to walk away from.  And I spent over a year in physical therapy regaining strength in my left arm and hand as a result + years of pain.  I’ve worked hard, overcome a lot and never want to repeat that experience, for me or for anyone else.  I feel blessed.

6.  Fear (not panic) is a motivator that can keep you alert and clear the mind.  However, STRESS requires a lot of energy and recovery time.  Allow for the reboot when there’s stress.  After I got back, I realized my goal and relaxed by that fire with some crochet and tea for a bit.  However, after a short while, I had to head upstairs before completely passing out from the intensity of the day.  I didn’t lay down for long, since we needed to meet friends for dinner and would be walking, but the bit did wonders for helping me finish out my day.

Not bad for a life lesson, huh?  Goes to show, lessons can be drawn from even the mundane, and all experiences have value.  Y’all stay safe out there and Happy December!

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Kumihimo Could Be The Ultimate Stash Buster

Today was well spent at A Good Yarn taking a beginning Kumihimo class from Jeannie.  She’s a good teacher!  And the class proved to me what I suspected…  Kumihimo might just be the ultimate stash buster.

Kumihimo is the Japanese term and method for braiding.  There are many different types, but we learned a basic yatsu umi, or 8-strand round braid.  Jeannie even introduced us to using beads.  For a basic yatsu umi starter project, we each started with four strands of about two yards each, doubled over to make eight strands to work with, and create a key chain.  Most everyone else stopped with a normal sized key chain, but since I was camping out for part of the day anyway, I kept going until I had no more threads left to work with!  So mine’s actually long enough for a necklace now.  I’m thinking about taking the split ring off and instead adding a decorative clasp for an offset design.  Maybe add a crochet element.  Not sure yet how, but pretty sure this is going to be a necklace.

The fun thing about Kumihimo (and I should have taken some photos of Jeannie’s examples to do her justice), is that you can use up scraps of yarn and thread that might not be long enough to do much else with.  She had examples of several made from a variety of yarns, thick and thin, including pigtail-eyelash.  How much stash you can bust with braiding depends on your end project idea, of course, but it adds one more thing to my bucket of tools and growing skills.  I look at kumihimo and see possibilities for jewelry, where crochet might not give me the result I want, but also, I think this could make a much stronger, less stretchy purse strap for some of my weighty beaded purses, over crochet.  One of my fellow classmates mentioned wanting to make some for decorating Christmas presents.

Here are some photos of my yatsu umi.

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This is the basic beginner's small Kumihimo kit, long with my yatsu umi hanging out the backside.

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The yatsu umi has a spiral effect when you use contrasting colors.

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Beading adds a nice element to the spiral braid.

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My yatsu umi is long enough to make a necklace! I'm thinking I might take off the split ring and instead turn this into an offset necklace with a decorative clasp.

If you find yourself in Prescott, AZ, I can’t recommend the local yarn shoppe – A Good Yarn – enough. They are incredibly helpful, friendly and a bright spot to visit. I also LOVE Debra’s “Buck A Ball” community donation project. Drop off your unused yarn leftovers, or balls you aren’t going to use, and Debra puts them in a box for $1 a ball, with all proceeds going to the local women’s shelter. Umm, yes I found some goodies to buy in the box too. Gracious and community oriented, this store is one of the most crochet friendly yarn stores I’ve ever shopped. And you can tell that Prescott locals value them too, as they stayed busy with many local friends coming and going, friendly chatter, along with newbies who dropped by today as well. I met a lady from South Africa today who said she’d heard so much about this store she just had to come. Seriously, you can’t help but be in great hands!

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Carma, Jeannie and Debra! When you are in Prescott, you must visit these super friendly ladies and tell them I sent you!

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Filed under 'Tis the Season, Artist Information & Notes, Crochet Community, Crochet Education

Field Testing The Crochet Gear in Prescott

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All that frosty grey on my hat and giant scarf is snow!

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Happy December everyone!

I am in Prescott, AZ, field testing my Crochet Gear! LOL!  OK, that’s not really the purpose of our visit, but I have enjoyed the opportunity to none-the-less.

We just got in tonight and it started to snow!  Super pretty!  Dear hubby and I enjoyed a walk in the snow around the square after dinner tonight.  (For those who might not know, we’ve only seen snow in Austin maybe 4 times in the last 17 years and where I grew up, I only saw it about 3 times as a kid, so any snow is a pretty treat for me!)

It’s not quite our anniversary, but it’s close and we’ll be celebrating 16 years.  The grand ‘rents are staying with the kids back home, holding down the fort and giving us this time together.  It’s a blessing I sure won’t turn down!  And the ‘rents and kiddos are getting quality time too.

Got a plan in the works while I’m here this year.  While hubby’s taking care of work tomorrow, I’m scheduled to take a Kumihimo class at the local yarn store A Good Yarn.  You might remember I blogged about them last year.  I drop by and see them every time we come.  They’ve moved recently and I look forward to seeing their new digs and visiting with folks I’ve met in years past.

Saturday afternoon I’m catching up with yarnies at Method Coffee.  And sometime before we leave, I’ll be seeing about dropping by Peaceful Prairie Alpaca Ranch to see Wendy.

We ate at Prescott Brewing Company tonight.  It’s a favorite of ours, along with their Christmas ale.  Seriously, all their food seems to be top notch, as are the brews.  I try something different each time and am always pleased.  On our walk earlier, I noticed a shop with Tibet imports I want to check out.  Also have to be sure and go by the Arts Prescott Gallery Coop.  That’s where I found my gorgeous blue dichroic glass necklace that everyone loves.  It’s a great shop of several local artists’ work.  And I’ll stop by Bead-It on Whiskey Row.  And there are a couple homemade type candy shops too.  Plus we should be able to catch the city’s lighting of the courthouse on Saturday.  It should be fun!

All in all, I look forward to a pleasant visit and lots of photos and reporting. Provided we aren’t snowed in!

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Your Smarts Can Make You Weak

This touches an arena that I feel rather passionately about.  The attitude of expertise that says “I’m the head authority on this and do not need to learn anything else.”  “No one like you could possibly teach me something about the world I’m already an expert in.”  This attitude in life does not operate from a place of strength. It makes you weak.

This is especially dumb in leadership roles.  And it pretty much rejects assistance altogether. If you’re an expert in parenting, why read books on the subject? If you’re an expert in marriage, why ever consider counseling or a “marriage building” event? If you’re an expert in education, why explore new ways to reach a struggling student or improve the educational experience for everyone? If you’re an expert in business, why consult a coach? Why do anything to push your current boundaries? Yada.  Feel like you never get any help?  Umm, maybe check yourself here.

I’ve seen it in religious as well as philosophical circles. It’s present in the educational system. Even witnessed it to my surprise in the field of mathematics. And it’s so prevalent in politics (what I call the new religion) today. The idea in general that my way is the right way. Or my way is the only way. There is nothing else outside of that. It’s like being in a cage and it can become a difficult barrier to break through.

This doesn’t just plague leadership roles. Ever know someone who is an expert in everything, even in fields they’ve never touched? I’m reminded of a conversation with someone once about selling the home they’d lived in for 25+ years. The owner voiced many concerns over the idea and work she wasn’t sure might need to be done or even the paperwork involved. “Have you talked to a real estate agent? They could really help you know what you need to do and talk to you about the market right now,” I said. “No,” she said, “I already know everything I need to know about my house and this neighborhood. There’s nothing worthwhile an agent could ever tell me.”    Seriously?

In my mind, this type of mentality is the very source of division and stagnation. There is wisdom and growth at the center of many approaches and views. Thank goodness for the experts in my life who can give me other viewpoints and ways of seeing things. I am not eternal enough to contain all the truth and insight of the universe.

I have expertise, experience and a perspective that is very useful in many ways. But it ain’t everything.  No one’s is.

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Sometimes Even Nellie Oleson Is Right

I’m known to coin phrases.  One of my favorites? “There’s always a Nellie Oleson.”  Anyone who grew up reading or watching Little House on the Prairie barks a knowing laugh.  And anyone else just stares blankly at me!  Both reactions are fun.  :D   And the statement rings so true.

Fact is, there is always that person somewhere in your life.  That one person who gets under your skin, who acts as a challenge to you.  Whether as a minor yet annoying inconvenience, or as someone whose very existence seems to defy yours.  Perhaps that one person you can’t help but think privately about, “Everything would be a lot nicer if they just would just go away.”

Nellie Oleson exists for you, in some form, in your life somewhere.  And every time you think she’s gone, resolved and moved on, another one pops up in her place.  Her character is able to be so easily understood because there is always someone who plays this part in each of our lives.  After all, Life is always about the overcoming.  Of some thing… even some one.

It’s easy to habitually ignore whatever she has to say.  That nasty ‘ol Nellie Oleson!  She’s always such a pain!   But the fact is, sometimes, as conniving as she can be, as cruel and awful as she can sound – sometimes your Nellie is right.

Nellie has no vested interest in you.  Hurt as it may, and as frustrating as it can be to think she’s won and maybe gotten to you, Nellie has a way of pointing out the truth of the matter, in all it’s rawness.  It doesn’t matter that she’s your wrongful tormentor, nor for how many times.  When she’s right, she’s right.  Telling you what your friends didn’t want to say.  Sporting her evil little smirk.  Pointing out what you didn’t want to see.  That this time, and boy do you know it, you’re the one who is wrong.  Pointing out that flaw you want to forget, making known your weaknesses, revealing who you really are.

You don’t just hate her.  You hate how she makes you feel.  Because deep down it sucks to see yourself without the ignorant bliss or the rose-colored glasses your friends and loved ones are all too happy to loan you.  You’re not always rosy.  You’re not always nice.  You’re not always right.  You don’t always make great decisions.  Sometimes, those pants do make you look fat and sometimes you’re dead wrong.  Sometimes even an emperor needs a loud mouth kid to tell him he’s a fool without any clothes on.   Someone’s gotta do the job.  If your friends won’t, the Nellie in your life will.  The fact is, Nellie has an unabashed way of testing you and holding up the mirror so you can really see yourself.  Think you’re a good person?  Think you’re really something?  Think you’re better than Nellie?  Are ya really?  Even now?  Even under pressure?

Alison Arngrim

Maybe there’s a lesson in all that, a role she needs to play, a purpose to fulfill.  After all, how can we change and overcome what we cannot see?  She may not be soft and cuddly, but Nelly won’t try to protect us from ourselves.

Perhaps even you’ve been a Nellie yourself.  And maybe she’s not as bad as you think.  ;)


Fun fact: Alison Arngrim, the actress behind the TV personality of  Nellie Oleson released a 5 star book last year called: “Confessions Of A Prairie Bitch: How I Survived Nellie Oleson And Learned To Love To Be Hated.”

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Mommy Can’t Right Now, She’s Texting

I was struck by a scene in my neighborhood earlier today.  There was a toddler sitting in a wagon by the side of the road, wiggling his butt, obviously wanting the wagon to go.  And his mom (or babysitter?) was leaning on a telephone pole nearby, with her phone in her hand.  Texting, surfing, I don’t know, but she was not talking. And she had completely checked out.

It’s always seemed odd to me when parents disconnect from their children for long hours talking on the phone.  We do all need breaks.  And that’s not what I’m talking about.  Before texting became a reality, there were plenty of people who could not disconnect from their cell phones.  And before cell phones, they could not disconnect from their home phones.  And there was a time before that when it might have been the back yard fence I guess.  Now they can do it more openly and quietly by text.

I don’t know for sure what I think of it.  On the one hand, I value good tools.  And my phone, along with its texting capabilities, is a good tool.  That said, I know when I had computer work to do at home when the kids were little, it was hard for them to understand why I couldn’t play sometimes.  After all, to their little eyes, I was just sitting there staring at a brightly lit box.  Sure, I showed them things and introduced them to a computer at an early age to help both of them with development, learn how to edit school projects, etc..  And later school came to require it.  But still, until they understood and valued the use of a computer at all, they did not get it.  At least a TV made noise and pictures.  They could understand someone staring at it.  They stared at TV too.  But often a computer is a bunch of words, while mommy seemed to stare off into space. I had to work from home to make it work out to be at home with my kids.  I would set them next to me with things to do while I worked, and I planned lots of activities together, but I couldn’t always just stop when they wanted.

There’s a Zen belief about being fully present in whatever you set your hand to do.  I can’t help but ponder these things when I see people staring at their phones while a child goes unnoticed nearby.  I’m not sure what I expect, especially as someone who values her tools, and as someone who probably doesn’t really know what was going on.  But certainly I expected something different.

It’s a different kind of world our kids are growing up in.  I know my grandparents saw that when I was a kid.  I see it for my own kids.  There’s always a trickle-down.  Generations of latch-key kids led to generations of fairly self-sufficient adults.  I wonder what the trickle down is here?

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Filed under NaBloPoMo, Random Thoughts

Up And Coming Projects…

NaBloPoMo is getting close to an end!   And so far I’ve managed to stay on track!  It’s been a good exercise for me to pursue different writing ideas and a kick in the rear to get it done!  As I look ahead to what’s left of the year, Christmas is not far away now and I have a trip, custom orders, more shows and school fundraiser stuff to keep up with.  Whew!  Not to mention a project my brother and I might collaborate on.  We’re still hashing out the details to see if we think it’s viable or not.  Oh! And thanks to Facebook, three childhood girlfriends and I are planning a slumber party during winter break!  I’m so excited!  It’ll be our first Christmas occasion together!  :D   I have to thank Facebook for making it possible to bring people I love back into my life.

Today is run around crazy and do all the laundry day so there’s plenty of clothes for everyone.  And I need to clean out the car and get some of my show stuff from last week put into storage.  Plus I couldn’t sleep much last night, so I worked on these two hat beauties for a custom order.  Though similar, each hat is made with different yarns, different hooks and different stitches to achieve the same essential look.  Except for the squiggles.  They are identical.  This will give my customer a choice as far as color saturation.  My daughter was kind enough to model them for me.  Even letting her true nature out during one shot!  I’m playing around with lighting, with flash and without flash, trying to get the purples to really come out.  So there are a few photos here, but only two hats.  Can you tell the difference?  We call these Squiggle Hats, named by my daughter when she was little.  They are an Aberrant Crochet exclusive design.

All my cameos sold at the last couple shows.  I hunted for more like them, but couldn’t find the exact colors in those sizes.  And my original supplier is no longer supplying.  I did however find similar and a mauve design I like pretty well.  (OK, I’m picky.)  I also found two new lacy frames I really like that are reproductions of antique frames.  I can’t wait to work some crochet lace into them!   Still waiting on the right sized cameos for the smaller frame though.  Plus, I came across an estate collection of Gothic skull cameo pieces from an old jewelry store that I scarfed up too.  They will be quite fun to work with and I know my daughter’s friends will be interested at the school bazaar coming up.  Since the bazaar too often has little of interest to teens, and more of interest to the younger kids, I’m happy to oblige hunting down some steam punk/goth rock/pirate stuff for them. Never was into teddy bears, me.

I feel like I’m forgetting something though.  And that’s one of those big fears I always have.  I hate forgetting things.  So I’m wracking my brain today, making my “Remember The Milk” lists and trying to meditate on details in a logical order to see what might be missing.  If you haven’t heard of it, Remember The Milk is a handy app that allows you to create multiple lists.  There is a free version, which you can just use on your computer and a pro version that allows you to sinc it with your smart phone multiple times a day.  I have not fully explored the whole platform, but so far I’m finding it very handy.  I keep a perpetual grocery list this way too.  As soon as I remember something, I type it into my list.  When it’s time to go to the store, I sinc everything to my phone and voila! I have my list everywhere I go!  Which is good, because I lose paper lists.  Chronically.

Anyway, hopefully I’ll remember that thing that’s bugging me.  In the mean time, check out the pics!

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Filed under 'Tis the Season, Artist Information & Notes

Regulating Your Sleep Cycle

As someone who damaged their immune system in her early 20′s from sacrificing sleep, please take it from me and make this a priority if you have issues with your sleep cycle. Our immune system will successfully deal with many things until we sacrifice sleep, diet and sunlight. My sleep issues got worse after having kids and nursing and it took awhile to get my sleep cycles corrected.

I am not a doctor, and any decision you make is yours and yours alone. You should always consider seeing a doctor or another certified health professional. But these are natural ways that have helped me. (I’m allergic to many medications, so these are avenues my doctors have helped me find to do.)  I put this out there in case it might help others find a direction in solving this problem.

1. Melatonin. It’s an over the counter “vitamin” (synthetic hormone actually). Melatonin does not make you sleep per se, it will improve the quality of your sleep, help you get to that deeper REM and help regulate your internal clock again. If you have not dreamed in a while (as is the case for many exhausted people), the first few nights you will likely have a rush of wild dreams as your psyche downloads.  Some people may not experience this. A lot of people do.  Make sure you have plenty of time to sleep when you first start taking melatonin so there’s proper time to be at that deep level of sleep. Two hours will not work.

Melatonin is created from serotonin, so if you don’t have enough of one, you likely don’t have enough of the other. L-Tryptophan (an amino acid found in food like turkey) can also be found over the counter and is what the body uses to make serotonin, which is then converted to melatonin at night. If at any point you start waking up again in the middle of the night while taking melatonin, take a smaller dose or don’t take it. It does seem to build up in the system. Melatonin is processed through the liver, so keeping your liver healthy is also a good idea. Avoid alcohol for awhile, consider milk-thistle to support liver health. Also, low levels of serotonin are associated with increased carbohydrate cravings, depression, heightened sensitivity to pain, and troubled sleep patterns.

The smaller dosages (mcg) of melatonin did not work for me. But 5mg did. Don’t take it unless you are going to get at least 6 hours of sleep. And take it an hour before you want to go to bed. Today, I don’t need as much or as often (in fact I rarely take it) and I’m much less chronically exhausted.  But it was a life saver when my son started sleeping through the night and I still couldn’t.

I recommend you search some medical sites about melatonin to give you more information as well.

2. Light destroys melatonin in the body, especially the blue spectrum (though serotonin levels do increase during light exposure – sunlight being best). An hour before bed start turning off and dimming your lights. Also, no computer use during this time is also best, as the whole light issue is specific to your eyes. Staring at a computer screen is staring right into a source of light. The last lights you leave on should be yellow tone or even candle-light, avoid blue tone like the daylight bulbs you find. Do not leave a candle burning while you sleep. If you must use night lights, use red bulbs. Completely darken your room.

3. Go camping (tent, not cabin). Seriously, when you do not artificially extend your day with lights and the conveniences of modern life, your body will naturally try to sync up with the sun and other creatures around you. You’ll likely wake with dawn too. A night or two of camping have helped reset my internal clock.

4. Try not to eat a meal within 4 hours of going to bed. That being said, some people benefit from a simple glass of milk before bed. No sugar, caffeine or apples too close to bed. Apples contain a substance better than coffee for keeping you alert.  Whenever I have to drive for a trip, I take a bag of apples to eat while I drive. Works like a charm. Don’t eat them before bed.

5. Probiotics. Some people have trouble sleeping because something’s going on in their digestive track. Probiotics will help iron that out. And oddly, they do have a relationship to correcting in the gut whatever is decreasing proper serotonin/melatonin production.

Good luck, talk to a doctor and hope you get some sleep!


Source(s):

Personal experience
Book: Somer, Elizabeth, M.A., R.D. Food & Mood. Henry Holt and Company, LLC, 1999. (Page 144 on serotonin)

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Four Dysfunctional Attitudes About Communication

Effective communication is the key to everything. To business, to relationships, to peace.  However people often have some dysfunctional ways of thinking about the subject. Let’s take a look at these and see if any apply.

1. There is no such thing as just one solution! 

Encourage people to always get at least a 2nd (qualified) opinion, whatever the situation is, especially when there are doubts.  There are more equally effective ways up the same mountain than just one.  Seriously, if you reach the summit and find that someone else climbed up a different way, would you shove them off the mountain top for not doing it the “right” way?  Of course not!  You’d probably share a celebratory drink and take in the view together.  Wisdom is found in the midst of a multitude of views.  Holding that kind of outlook has served me far better than most.  It applies to anything in life, health or business.

2. It’s OK for someone else to be the expert.

No human is infinite enough to contain all the knowledge of a single subject, much less of the universe. We should celebrate that wonder and make use of individual expertise by adding the insight and value of others to our lives and teams.  Just because I can doesn’t mean I should or that it’s in my (or anyone else’s) best interest.  Not being an expert in something is not a negative reflection on us.  I’m thankful for the experts in my life.  I can not possibly hold that much information in this one physical and finite body.  I’m an expert in crochet.  I can be that.  Thank God someone else can be an expert in car repair and plumbing for me!  And I’m no less a person for it.

For an expansion on this idea, check out Derek Sivers’ video “Hell Yeah Or No.”

3.  Confrontation is not a dirty word.

Communication is essential to mediation. As someone who tends to communicate fairly well, others often come to me with their frustrations in dealing with someone else.  Many times they hope I will intercede for them.  I listen, but often followup with, “OK, you’ve hashed out your concerns with me, but have you gone to the source? Have you talked to that teacher/volunteer/manager/parent/business/peer that you have a suggestion/concern/issue with? Because they can’t do anything about what they don’t know.” All too often, people avoid confrontation, so nothing is ever addressed. When you feel helpless, the last thing you should do is give up.  Avoiding the person or issue will not often resolve anything.

4.  Emotional Reality and Factual Reality Are Not The Same.

When you’re having trouble seeing things straight, it is also important to keep in mind that although emotional reality is real and it does give us valuable information, that emotional reality and factual reality are not generally the same.  Making decisions based solely on feelings is not a balanced place to operate from.  Many emotions are caused by triggers.  And triggers can be very individual and personal.  What triggers you and what triggers me is not necessarily going to be similar.  Your feelings might be real, but they may have nothing to do with the actual situation at hand.  As hard as it may be, sometimes you have to step outside of that emotional reality with logical mindful intent.

What other dysfunctional attitudes about communication can you think of?
Think about it and share your thoughts in the comments.

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Apparently It Is Easy To Make Butter When A Ninja Is Involved – A Thanksgiving Mishap

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Lightly sweetened butter, that was supposed to be whipped cream. I poured off the liquid already.

Everyone knows that whipped cream is a requirement for pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving.

It’s pumpkin pie season!  My favorite.  I didn’t have ready made whipped cream, so I whipped out the carton of heavy whipping cream I keep on reserve for chocolate ganache and whipped up a batch. LOL. See how punny I am?

I love this time of year.  Pulling out old family recipes, taking time not to be stressed about the world and just be thankful in this sacred space.  It’s a special day of magic really.  The kind that only love and gratitude can create.  I like this day.

ANYway… When the need arises, I usually whip up little batches of whipped cream with one of my small food processors. (Only the real stuff for me.)  It’s a great way to cheat at all sorts of things, like whipped cream and cream gravy. I have cooked from scratch all my life, but I have never really been able to master a rue. How do I get around that?  Blend some flour, spices and milk in a blender and you’ve got instant cream gravy or stew thickener. Corn starch too. I love me my food processors!

Truth be told, I’ve been through a lot of them. I love frozen fruit smoothies too. Been making them since I got out of college and could buy my first machine. However, I like the all fruit kind and I don’t water them down with ice. Which is actually harder on the machines. Ice shatters easily.  Frozen fruit does not.  Those drink wands? I burnt out three of them. Along with several small food choppers and blenders. Then there was the small Cuisinart I brutalized until it finally had plastic bits cracking off it from the sheer vibrational impact of frozen fruit blending in a machine that was never designed for what I was putting it through. But my frozen goodie product was yum!

Later I finally got a Magic Bullet. OMG! I loved it! Still have it too. (If you don’t want yours, I’ll take it!)  However, you can only make a small bit at a time.  And my kids love smoothies too.

So then came the opportunity to own a Ninja. Sam’s Club had one left on clearance for half price. It’s one of the smaller models, but I took one look and grabbed it. Hell yeah. Strawberry/Spinach smoothie tonight!

It’s a little finicky, but my Ninja works well. The larger model might be less finicky.  Mine’s really designed to make the smoothies that you water down with ice. And if you do, you will have no trouble with it. However, as you already know, I don’t like adding ice. Probably doesn’t help that I don’t have an ice maker. But I did figure out that if I toss in the strawberries and other frozen fruit in alone, before adding spinach or anything else, it will powder them nicely and then I can easily add my yogurt and greens. But not until then. (It helps to use sliced frozen strawberries too, btw.) Once you have that figured out, it works like a dream blending up a whole pitcher of smoothie at a time. :D

So back to whipped cream. A small food processor will help you whip up the good stuff in no time without pulling out your blender and all the clean up. (I’m all for practical and the least amount of work.)  Add your cream, a tad bit of honey for sweetener and blend until it looks right. Voila. Whipped cream.

Along come Ninja. This is the first time I’ve used it for whipped cream. In about 20-30 seconds I had whipped cream. Upon tasting, though, hubby didn’t feel it was sweet enough. So I added more honey and blended away. About another thirty seconds later, I had chunks in my cream and by another 30, it was butter. It wasn’t until I opened it up that I realized what was going on.

Stupid Ninja, I wanted whipped cream for my pie and now I don’t have any at all.  So now I have instead a delicate sweetened cream butter I’ll have to decide how I want to use. Grandma Leona would have been jealous.

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Filed under 'Tis the Season, NaBloPoMo, Random Thoughts

Three Communication Tips To Help You Get Your Point Across

If I’m not careful, I can be a talker. As a natural at the art of capturing a story, it’s a gift. But it can also be a weakness. Here are three tools I’ve found useful to help me stay trim in my communications and remain effective in the long run.  This includes marketing and sales.

1. Remember that people communicate (and retain) information best in three main ways: audio, visual and kinetic. A balance of the three seems to work best. Honestly, sometimes we need to shut up and let a picture say a 1000 words or let someone get a literal handle on something. But beyond that, the truth is that some people retain and communicate best by hearing their own thoughts expressed in audio. Which means, get them into the discussion and you’ll get the best out of them.

My son is an example of someone who performs best through discussion, not just listening. He has an unusual visual impairment with a kind of blend of parallax and monocular vision (and medical terms I find difficult to describe).  Due to this, his thoughts literally form best through discussion and the hearing of his own voice. Once he’s been a part of the discussion, he’s your man and knows exactly what to do. Without it, he has a harder time putting his thought process in order or “getting it” because he has no mental black-board to “see” things in his mind. When he can verbalize thoughts as they take form, the quality of his work is amazingly better, because his brain is wired that way. It’s been an interesting path of discovery for us at home and I’ve learned to tailor my communication for others as a result.

2. There is a book that I love called: How to Get Your Point Across in 30 Seconds or Less, by Milo Frank. I listen to the audio version on a periodic basis to remind me how to trim my words and get to the point.

3. Once words are spoken, you can’t take them back. So if it’s the wrong words, or just too many, the problem is the same. I like to keep in mind an old adage that goes something like this: “Better they wonder why you didn’t open your mouth, than why you did!”

These are some thoughts that have helped me in both my professional and personal communications, as well as marketing.  I hope they help you too.

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Filed under Business, Editorial, NaBloPoMo

Look What I Found! Vintage Finds!

I lucked into some vintage finds at a thrift store today. I’m pretty pleased with them! How much did I pay? Now that’s my little secret!

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Vintage finds from today!

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I love the bee earrings! They will definitely become hat pins. The fake pearls are hand-knotted and over all look great, though two of the beads are flaking. Also found a sweet little silver chain.

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A cute little locket in the shape of an envelope.

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Came with a stamp inside!

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Recognition of this guy can definitely date you! It's Ronald McDonald's friend Hamburglar! Playing hockey! This mug is from the McDonald's Sports Series from 1977. This is going to be my new coffee mug!

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This pretty dish needs washing, but will look beautiful full of peppermints and ribbon candy! My Grandma Dot used to keep a dish of ribbon candy every year during the holidays. I haven't had ribbon candy in years!

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This awesome Steven Harris tie totally got my funny bone! I love the outdated computer equipment pictured all over it! I'm not sure what I want to do with this just yet, but I definitely wanted to give it a home! There were some beautiful silk Hawaiian ties there as well, but I decided not to get them too.

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Filed under NaBloPoMo, Random Thoughts, Vintage

How Much Are You Worth?

What is the true cost of handmade items at a show?  I’m not really talking about taking a bead and sticking it on an ear wire. There’s almost no training or skill involved in that.  There’s not much honing of a craft going on there.  Though it does take time to assemble, it’s small and not considered skilled labor.

How much do you make an hour for your expertise?  How much should a hand crafter make per hour?  What is right for a living wage?  It’s easy to forget sometimes the nature of how some jobs work.  In many jobs, you get paid a set wage + benefits.  Some jobs involve a commission, which is generally highly taxed by the government even if it is really what you feed yourself with.  Other jobs, like waiting tables, are often half of minimum wage with the expectation that you will make up the rest in tips.  That was a rude awakening when I landed my first waiting job right out of college.  I was taxed out of my $2.13 an hour each week as if it were twice that, because it’s assumed I would make up the other half of minimum wage on tips.  And I didn’t.  Sigh, those were the days.

So how much should a hand crafter make?  Well, one obvious thing to consider is the cost of table fees to get into the show in the first place.  Just here in Austin, there are shows that range from $40 a table to over $3000.  It’s a chunk of change, and somewhat of a gamble playing the odds whether you will sell something at the venue or not.  Space rental is not cheap.  Neither is security, electricity or many other expenses people might not think of.  If you take credit cards, you have expenses there as well.

You have the cost of materials as overhead.  When it comes to yarn, it’s interesting to me that so many buyers really have no idea how much yarn can cost these days.  To buy enough to create a garment is a pretty substantial chunk.  Are we using “That Old 70′s Yarn?”  Or something nicer like silk or cashmere or even a microfiber?  Either way, it’s way more now than it was when I was a kid.

Then there’s the amount of materials as well.  Just because a hat you find at WalMart cost $5 doesn’t mean it has a comparable amount of fiber in it to something handmade.  Nor does it mean the yarn can be purchased in the US for so little either.  Where many often use one yarn for a design, I often use three myself.  So that’s a jump in cost for me.  Plus there’s the value of other elements, like antique buttons or sterling silver findings.

And then we come to the aspect of time and of skill.  What would you pay an expert to do and what would you pay a beginner?  There should be a difference.  There’s something to be said for a skill that has been honed over time.  Because the quality of labor is much different.  Why should an expert be paid the same as a beginner?  There’s a reason why we pay doctors what we do, they are highly educated, trained and skilled.

But let’s say we have a beginner.  Federal minimum wage is $7.25 an hour.  Even people receiving training to flip burgers get at least minimum wage.  If an item requires $30 of materials and takes 4 hours to make, you have at minimum a $59 item, before taxes.  Right?  What if you decide not to charge minimum wage?  Even at $5 an hour (a minimum suggestion from Crochet Liberation Front founder, Laurie Wheeler), you still have a $50 price tag.  At minimum.  For beginner grade work.

I like some points Laurie made on this subject in previous years on the Crochet Liberation Front forum, “The best way I know of raising the value of anything, is to value it yourself.” 

Followed up in her article last year “At What Price?” Laurie has this to say:

“FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS FUZZY DO NOT…and I repeat…DO NOT UNDERSELL YOUR WORK!!  …. Materials + Time x Skill = $$…. Time is valuable. Especially in today’s fast paced world, time is PRECIOUS, your time is VALUABLE. If you spend 2hrs on a  hat and you spent $3 on the materials and you only charge $4.00, $3.00 covers the materials and you just made FIFTY CENTS an hour. Really?  You are not a SWEATSHOP…You are WORTH more than that… “

Also, I’ve heard many women make comments that should never be made, like: “Oh but I enjoy doing this so I don’t charge very much.”  WHAT? Seriously? Did I just hear that?  SO you should only get paid for what you don’t derive a sense of satisfaction from?  (I’ve never heard a man say something like this, btw.)  If you’ve ever been guilty of saying something like that, stop and consider the craziness of what you’re suggesting.  Not to mention how it undervalues the work of all hand crafters when you do that, including the ones who rely on selling their wares to put food on the table.  Just because you don’t have to rely on it to feed your kids, doesn’t mean you should undersell your work.

Factors to keep in mind as you consider pricing also include rarity, how labor intensive, precision of the work, and expertise and range of experience. Some items, you’ll have to judge.  You may have to tweak your prices or process a bit here and there.  Just because you are capable of making wash cloths out of cashmere doesn’t mean it’s practical and that everyone will buy one for what it’s worth or at all.  Hmmm… So maybe there’s a cap there somewhere on what kind of materials you expect to use for what items and the price range most of your customers will fall into?

There’s also travel time, packing materials and postage.  If I’m doing custom orders and find myself driving all over town from yarn shop to yarn shop trying to find what will make my customer happy, it becomes an expense that has to be accounted for, because they want a custom item and not something I have ready to go.  And it requires me to take time off from my regular business and work only for them until they get what they want.  That can be a lot of time, especially if they don’t really know what they want or it’s difficult to secure!  Think about the fees you would pay a graphic artist when you don’t have a clear idea of what you want.  Usually you get one or two proofs and that’s it.  Consider that custom handmade should not be much different.

So when you’re pricing, you have a lot to consider for variables.  And once you have that, stick with it and do not let buyers bargain with you.  Not only is it poor form at shows, but when you do it, you give people permission to essentially cut your pay!  Set a fair and reasonable price, based on the variables we’re discussing and decide ahead of the show how you will deal with such requests.  If you want to offer a discount for multiple purchases, that can be nice, but price your individual items accordingly so you are still coming out on top in the end. Do not stoop to the rude folks either.  They are not your market.  Be polite, but do not waste your time on them.  You want to know at the end of the year, after all those last-minute material purchases and all the time invested and you sit down to do those taxes, that it was worth it.  If you never stand up for yourself, who will?

Now that you’ve read all this and taken stock, how much are you worth?  Think about it and add to the discussion in the comments!  :D


If you liked this article, you might also like: When Artists Hear “I Can Make That.

Go ahead and click a link below to “share this.”  You know you want to!  : )

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Filed under crochet, Crochet Community, Crochet Education, Doing the Show Circuit

The Pirate Skull Cameos Are All Gone! Here’s What I Worked On Today!

Today was the last day of East Austin Studio Tour and the last of the pirate cameos found new homes!  I haven’t found another source for the “Guns and Roses” style in the color I had.  I’ll see what I can find do to find some more.

Here’s the piece I was working on today.  Again with my tiniest antique crochet hook!

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Saturday Recap For E.A.S.T. #67

Well, it was a lovely day out at the E.A.S.T. #67 location at Flat Fork Studios.  I was a little worried at first with the wind picking up this morning.  Luckily it calmed down a bit later.  There were lots of gracious people and fellow artists and artisans. And I really enjoyed talking to some aspiring crocheters and other fiber artisans, including a shy spinner/weaver.  Maybe, just maybe, I talked him into posting photos of his work somewhere publicly.  (Let me know dude, ‘cuz I’d love to see! I wasn’t joking!)

Flapper Purse in BLue for Cindy

Flapper Purse in Silk and Rust

It was also nice to talk to more traditional media artists who got some of my quirky ways of looking at texture and design and even got excited with me about what I was doing.  Awesome!  Different worlds, but maybe not so much.  I brought the purses out to show-n-tell and promised to blog more about them as I finish my work on them.  Nothing like a gentle prod to help me stay in gear.  I still need to make a trip to find the blue silk to line the blue one though.

Sunny Bear Hat For Lola

People were having a good time.  Lots of babies and kids.  Lola was there with her famous gumbo and kind, motherly smile.  She made me feel special telling me she looks forward to seeing me every year and that she still loves her hat from two winters ago.  I love you too Lola!

Purple Eggplant with Vintage Button Pin

I also had a customer from last year drop by.  She bought my Purple Eggplant hat last year and has since moved to the Rockies where she says she absolutely loves it and that she gets so many compliments.  And another let me know that she took her hat on a ski trip and stayed incredibly warm and comfortable.  That was so awesome to hear.  I don’t often have the privilege of hearing “where they are now” and it’s a treat.  I have to really thank everyone who supported my work today.  I’ll keep going because of you. Thanks for sharing my excitement and vision! :D

Teeter Totter and Fun

Wondering who’s out there this weekend?  Well, here are my colleagues.  (You can find info about the other artists and bands in studio here.)

Craft Riot Team Members at E.A.S.T. stop #67:
Nepenthes Bathtime – artisan Soap & bath products
Robo Roku – art, apparel, accessories
Gem Junkie – jewelry for the go
R + R Design – recycled & re-purposed jewelry & home accessories
Sweetwolf - facio, ero sum
This Creative Life – paintings, prints, & apparel
Pixie Worx! & Aberrant Crochet – crochet designer, fabric artist + hand-carved crochet hooks and shawl pins

All in all, a pleasant day.  I look forward to tomorrow.

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Filed under Artist Information & Notes, Doing the Show Circuit, Events

Life Has Taught Me That All Too Often You’re Better Off On Your Own

People let you down.  Teams, bosses and employees let you down.  Friends make promises they don’t keep.  Family members have insane expectations.  Colleagues take advantage of you and your work.  Leaders pretend to be people they aren’t.  Managers abuse their power.  Religious people prove to be hypocrites.  Atheists and politicians too.  Armchair warriors who can’t help but to give out a cyber punch/ jab/ pinch.  Like an abuser, justify it with “They deserved it.”  The people with those handicapped tags that aren’t really disabled and who cut you off in a parking lot so they can swoop quickly into that front row parking space before you pass it.  I’ve been cut off in parking lots by more people with temporary handicap tags lately than ever.  Wtf?

People who pretend to be experts at something they are not.  Receivers with no sense of gratitude or conscience.  And the guilty who take their guilt out on others when they fail.

And it generally boils down to a selfishness at heart.  A general disregard for a fellow human being.  The one right next to you, not the stranger from another culture you’re trying to impress.

It’s kind of like how family all too often treat each other worse than they would a stranger.  Biting the hands that feed and nurture them. Devolving into a vicious cycle of dysfunctional relationship and communication to rule the rest.  And now days, a couple of conversations online makes you familiar enough to take a punch, familiar enough to receive judgement and be devoid of rights to safety. Familiar enough to be disliked or hated, never having met face to face. And based solely on a paragraph or two.  I feel like a bit of my soul bruises every time I hear someone talk about how they hate someone else.

Have people disappointed me lately?  You bet.  People with enough life and professional experience to know better.  People who’ve received enough kindness too.  People who should know the value of a team, of a cause, of a single person or an act of selflessness.  How a betrayal of trust ruins it for all.  And how gratitude always wins.

Has it been everyone?  No. Not by a long shot.  But enough repeats to get to me.  I know better than most how tough life can be, so as patient and laid back as I can be, it takes a while to build up.  I wrote the emotionally charged title on purpose.  Because I know it speaks to the feelings of a lot of people lately.

This Thanksgiving, of all times, let’s think about this.  And not just football.  Take accounting, of ourselves, of the relationships we allow in our lives, of the examples we allow our children to see.  Recognize reality for what it is.  Take responsibility for ourselves, because others are not as invested.  Demonstrate patience and tenderness with others, because we know what pain is.  And savor the gems in our lives, rarer today than ever.

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Filed under Artist Information & Notes, NaBloPoMo, Random Thoughts

Letter To A Homeless Guy: I Hate Liars

You sir make me angry. Because you are not really “homeless.”  Nor do I think you’re a veteran.  For nearly a year now I have passed by you every day on my way to and from my kids’ school at the noon hour and watched you with your signs asking for beer or food.  And I’ve noticed how you hang out during lunch rush at the corner just long enough and then disappear into a parking lot for the rest of the day.

Your neatly trimmed beard has always been exactly the same.  It’s like your hair doesn’t grow.  And your fingernails never get dirty.  Your jeans always look cleaner and newer than even my own.  Those ball caps and shoes you change out as well.  I seriously doubt you’ve ever served a day in the military.  Nor have those BDUs you were sporting today.  Or that booney hat you’ve pinned up on the side.  Doubt those clothes have even seen a hunt.  You missed the creases on the back side of your pants.  Which tells me you mail ordered them to boot.

Ah, but today!  Today was the kicker.  I passed you wearing those silly BDUs, on my way to the school.  And on the way back, as I passed your corner, I spied you walking back from that parking lot you so often disappear into – with a whole different change of clothes on.

There are people in this world who really are veterans and really are homeless.  If you were one, you wouldn’t need to change clothes and looks to keep up your con.

I hate liars.  You piss me off.

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Filed under NaBloPoMo, Random Thoughts